Thursday, June 24, 2004
going to mike blake's wake. great.
posted by jacob on 10:45 AM
Sunday, June 13, 2004
at this writing it has been exactly 48 hours since i attempted to sleep.
we playedwit grand champeen in lawrence at the jackpot, the new bar across from the replay on mass. friday night. we got in at six and richard and i started the jaegermeister race. i taught the bartender a new drink that i made up the other night. it's called the grudgefuck:
in a highball glass:
2 parts gin
1 part sloe gin
1 part grapefruit juice
dash simple syrup (to cut the grapefruit)
leave some space for a splash of soda, which you add after you shake this bitch up.
i was pretty hammered by the time i got off stage. we closed with television's marquee moon and everyone in the bar wanted to fellate me. at least, that is what it seemed like, keep in mind my judgement was pretty impaired. which i suppose is why i decided to do a snootful of speed when somebody offered it to me in the bathroom. big mistake. we went to an after hours party at this girl's apt because we were smart and stocked our cooler full of booze earlier in the day. shenanigan's was once again open. somehow i got involved in a hold 'em game. then it was nine in the morning and cameltoe came and rescued me and the bass player and took us to where we were staying. our host had some kind of chocolate mescaline out on the coffee table, so at about 9:15 am i snatched it up when noone was looking AND ATE THE WHOLE FUCKING PACKAGE! honestly, i don't know about my decision making process sometimes.
what seemed like a good idea at the time became A SCREAMING FUCKING UNHOLY NIGHTMARE ALL THE WAY TO TULSA! the rest of the badn derived great pleasure out of FUCKING WITH ME FOR SEVEN HOURS! meanwhile i was melting and the kansas prarie looked like something matisse had wiped his ass on. naturally, i took a valium. and then a clonopin.
when we got to tulsa, we found out we weren't , in fact, playing in cain's ballroom like the fucking dumbass no show promoter had told us TWO GODDAMN MONTHS AGO! but that we had been moved to an outdoor stage beneath a highway underpass and we were to go on after the high school bands quit playing. there was some kind of busted rte 66 street festival going on but downtown tulsa looked like the neighborhoods around three mile island when they weren't sure if it was gonna blow up or not.....except for with bikers and their old ladies.
let me digress for a second. all of you harley davidson owning middle aged men with your titjob cumbag alligator skinned old ladies are a bunch of obnoxious pussies. wait, that's not really fair, what i mean to say is this: fuck you and your $50,000 motorcycle that you trailer in behind your rv to these 'rallies' where you get so drunk on coors lite that you get a yosemite sam tatooed right next to the tazmanian devil you got in cancun a few years back. fuck you infinity. if that is american, then fuck america, too.
anyhoo, we figured out this outdoor festival thing was a total bust, that most of the bands on our stage had canceled, and that we were to go on immediatley. when i asked about getting the $150 bucks we were gauranteed, the production guy kind of chuckled, and we drove the fuck back to austin without playing note one. which meant another seven hours in the van.
that was my weekend......more later...
posted by jacob on 3:05 AM
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
from the asia times, an article about the faking of the nick berg video:
http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Middle_East/FE22Ak03.html
i think the headline should be:
How To Get A Head In The Intelligence Community.
i am going to hell
posted by jacob on 4:51 PM
i can't beleive the giant balls of these fucks. this is the RNC's response to gore's speech at moveon.org:
http://www.gop.com/News/Read.aspx?ID=4242
that's it? that's all they have to say? jeez....we're in trouble....
posted by jacob on 4:28 PM
bill bishop gave me a term that i would like to share with everyone. it especially applies at elysium on sundays. the word is:
gothappotomus
and i assume the plural is gothappotomi.
it means....well, shit, how can i say this nicely? fat gotth chicks in rubber skirts.
i think i have a new fetish.
posted by jacob on 3:43 PM
i don't know where he gave this speech but it is a scathing indictment of lord bush and the mess he has gotten us in. check it out. roar..
http://www.moveonpac.org/goreremarks052604.html/
and if you like that check out infowars.com and prisonplanet.com and click on the 9/11 archives.
and now in the paper today the wire says that al-CIAda is in the US and ready to hit us hard. funny that they're ratcheting up the fear as the election draws nearer. fuck george bush and fuck donald rumsfeld and fuck tom ridge and all of the other fundamentalist power mad christian lunatics that are running the show. i hope that i see them in hell when i get there.
posted by jacob on 3:34 PM
Sunday, May 23, 2004
tonight made me question why i chose the service industry as my means of survival.
posted by jacob on 4:14 AM
Friday, May 21, 2004
i lost forty bucks playing poker at tiven's house tonight. crap.
i met a girl, she's really cool. we ate food last night. then we got drunk.
the muscle relaxers are kicking in.....
posted by jacob on 2:21 AM
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
i think i did this once before, but i kept getting deleted. so i will try to tone it down a little and not slander anybody.
breaking news in my kick ass life:
i woke up at 2:30 only to find out my massage therapist was booked for the rest of the afternoon. fuck. now i can't get one until sunday. double fuck.
last night at work i hated everybody. then i was a giant butthole to this girl and her friend said that i should ask her out. i did and we are going to get drunk somewhere tonight. i love my job.
before i do that i have to go to a memorial service for my dumbass friend dustin who overdosed on herion last friday night. who does heroin anymore? that is so 1995. it's all about doin the soft shoe with Mr. Blowjangles nowadays, but i guess that stuff can kill you too.
whatever.
i have to go make pushies now.
e-mail me: witchbanger@austin.rr.com
until later, eff you.....
posted by jacob on 2:01 PM
Friday, May 14, 2004
test
posted by jacob on 2:06 AM
