Thursday, July 08, 2004

I've been told it's now July. Crap.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 6:20 PM

Monday, June 21, 2004

the alamo drafthouse rules. any theatre that serves beer in buckets of ice and has dodgeball games in a cage in their parking lot while playing the movie dodgeball inside has to get points. yes, i went to see dodgeball. yes, it's fantastic. best movie i have seen in years, i think... at least as far as comedies go. shit, they have a team called m.i.l.f. and a bar name dirty sanchez's... it's that good.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 2:44 PM

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

tuesday. everything is still in it's place... at least relatively so. friday/saturday was a blast... i'm not sure everyone agrees, but then again, 22 hours of nonstop drinking tends to cloud your judgement a wee bit. i think i called my new sort-of tangental boss 'lecherous' in the presence of his boss's boss... which is roughly as high as it gets here. probably not the greatest move. you know what though, i'm not so sure i care. we saw the sun come up while drinking wine in the hot tub and had a good time getting there. not much else to say. it's a slow week. i have nothing to whine about.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 10:14 AM

Thursday, June 10, 2004

it's thursday. tomorrow may be the last day i get to spend with my liver, so we're doing a little something special. i am taking my liver (and about 30 friends of my liver) to the coast of texas where it is miserable and hot and sticky and storming. my liver and i are sitting our collective ass by a pool in the afternoon and then we're getting on a fucking gambling boat, which will take us just far enough offshore so the regulators can't control exactly how bad they fuck me or my liver over... then, it's back to the hotel to wait for the sun to appear and to see if we have all survived intact. good luck to us all.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 5:55 AM

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

you know what, beautiful? you may not always feel perfect, but i've never come across anything so close. i hope someday you can see what everyone else sees.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 5:31 AM

Monday, May 31, 2004

Ah yes, and how can I forget. Happy Memorial Day. What's more patriotic than waking up to a little American flag in every yard in the neighborhood, complete with a little tag telling us what fine America-loving real estate company placed it there for us, purely out of the patriotic kindness of their hearts... and by the way, if you mention you saw their flag, you'll get .5% knocked off a closing commission. God Bless America, indeed.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 7:50 AM

OK, it's been a few days since I tried to bring everyone down... I've really been doing absolutely nothing of consequence. All my time has been occupied with keeping myself occupied. I've learned I cannot sit still anymore... this from a man who likes nothing more than to sit on his ass and watch people, watch tv or read... hopefully with a beer in hand. Nope, not anymore. I'm even to the point of dusting off the bike and riding my ass off... *twice* a day... anything to keep moving. The giant mindfuck that was my SF adventure has semi-scarred my head and I'm inclined to think I'm never going to be the same again. I know why, I know what, I know how... I also know it doesn't matter what I know. Nothing changes, as much as you'd like to think it will, and quite possibly that is the best thing going. I have purposefully avoided reading/seeing all news and blogs for about a week and a half now, and I don't feel blissfully ignorant yet. Maybe it's a slow process. Maybe ignorance is learned. I'm trying to reset my bar a little lower... maybe I'm just not noticing that I'm less frustrated waking up to ESPN rather than CNN... I guess it's kinda like quitting smoking... you don't always feel that you feel different, until you go out some night and smoke away again... at which point you realize you *did* feel different, but now it's too late to matter because you're smoking again. I think I've been smoking the dark side of the world too much and I can't get the taste off my lips and tongue. I laugh at materialistic bastards who care about nothing but having money and their big fat cars and toys... I always find them utterly ridiculous and just shake my head... but now, I think I'm starting to get jealous. Imagine if you had nothing to care about other than how fucking cool you thought you looked in your car... can you imagine if that was the biggest fucking concern in you life... how tough could life be? What could bring you down, seeing someone else look a little more rad than you? Fuck it, go buy that spoiler you've been thinking about, maybe some orange ground effects... that'll cure everything. Damn. I used to like having a brain. I'm not so sure anymore. I need a lobotomy. Or some good drugs. Or both.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 7:21 AM

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

good god, spend a few minutes away from the news and suddenly there is a circus clown brought up on child porn charges... what are the odds?
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 8:35 PM

you know, you can cut and cut all you want, but I don't think it's gonna be deep enough. i may feel better for a moment and you might think you found the problem, but it's just the effect... it's not the cause. if my heart is still beating, you didn't get it all.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 5:56 AM

Sunday, May 23, 2004

if anyone wants to know what it's like to tour with jeff, this blog thing is a fine view of it. jeff comes up with a great idea for all of us to do, sets it up, and then disappears with a bottle of makers while the rest of us do the leg work. bastard. i want a raise.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 9:51 AM

Saturday, May 22, 2004

all this crap earlier about a change, a big change... you know what? i'm a big fat fucking pussy. i don't deal well with change. actually, i love change but it scares the hell out of me and so i avoid it at all costs. it's rather sad actually. little changes here and there, like driving a different direction... that, i can do... it's the big shit. i talked about moving to austin for 4 years before i finally did it... i've talked about moving back ever since. will i do it? yeah. when? who the hell knows. maybe when my back is against the wall. i have a fear of hurting people, which i think is the driving force. i'm not religious, so i won't be "forgiven"... i have to live with what i do until i die, and for that reason, i don't do anything. nothing. nada. it's like being afraid to walk outside because i might step on a bug and kill it... it's unavoidable, so i avoid it. i need to just walk the fuck out the door with a big ass pair of krusty the clown shoes on and squish every goddamned thing in my way. maybe then i'd be happy. fuck 'em for getting in the way. i say that as i sit here in a very frustratingly quiet house, drinking a glass of wine by myself, bare feet up on the ottoman i share with my cat. if she comes over, i'll move my feet for her. and that, i believe, just goes to show i'm not going to strap on the clown shoes and go for a stroll. sometimes i feel like i'm not happy if i'm not a martyr for some shit or another, but ALL of the time i'm not happy for feeling that way. wtf? after some incessant pestering by me for a story of theirs, someone asked me once, not too long ago actually, for a story of my own... i didn't have one. i never do. if i do, it's from 10 years ago and it probably isn't even about me, it's about an old friend.
Good god... i hope nobody actually reads this crap... i'm starting to sound pretty pathetic, which is a judgement i only like people who know me to make. i think i was reminded this week about some things that i really, really like and i don't have... nor, it seems, will i ever have. i've made my bed and someone is laying in it. i'm not. go figure.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 10:00 PM

this blows.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 3:20 PM

it's over, damnit. i'm home and fell face first back into my own shitty life. i've never really thought of myself as depressed, just mellow, cranky and well, relatively content... but i'm starting to wonder what's what. i'm always happy being somewhere other than home, but usually get the itch to return after a bit... not so this time, and we even hit it pretty hard out there. there was no burnout, no pain... i actually looked forward to waking up in the morning, every morning... not necessarily getting up, but waking up... well, there wasn't burnout or pain -not, at least, until the reality of being back set in, and it set in hard and fast. certainly it helped that i had a kickass buddy who made me do more than my usual find-somewhere-good-and-keep-going-back thing... i can't remember the last time i was motivated to just go out night after night to somewhere different... for happy hour... then for dinner... then for drinking... probably didn't hurt that she's a hot as hell, smart and funny as fuck, sweet as god-knows-what southern darlin that can drink just about any guy you know under the table... not a bad combo to have in a friend. we had the most fantastic meals, met tons of hilarious and fun people, played substitute doormen at a swank club for a spell (never turn down a chance to stand there dressed like a fucking bum and turn away dudes that you can tell spent about 2 hours primping their shit for this night in this club)... watched hotty bachelorettes doing blow off strangers' stomachs... fuck, fuck, fuck... i think i need a change... big change... something... anything. until then, i have piles to navigate and i appear to have a lawn to mow.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 8:19 AM

Thursday, May 20, 2004

i'm going to sum up my last 4 evenings as best i can:
beer, beer, wine, irish coffee, irish coffee, irish coffee, irish coffee, beer; wine, wine, wine, beer, scotch, wine, wine, wine, wine; wine, wine, martini, scotch, scotch, scotch, wine, wine; martini, beer, wine, wine, scotch, scotch, scotch, diet coke... not sure what happened at the end there, but it won't happen again. my undefeated streak has ended and i'm now only up 3-1... that said, there are only about 24 hours left in this little experiment, so it's gonna take something huge for me to lose. depending on what that something is, i might be willing to throw this game... we'll have to see... i can think of a couple good reasons.

apologies for the shitty posts, all the promise of late night ramblings has been shot to hell... but at least i'm finding myself occupied with things other than this computer at 2-3am... like, for some strange and lovely reason, demonstrations of cheerleader moves. btw, amber was mighty kind to us last night... sadly, not a summer-like kind, but mighty kind anyways.

ah yes, and how can i forget my feet... well, sunshine, my feet feel damned good. and for that, i say, thank you.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 10:00 AM

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

so the morning thing didn't work and the night-time thing hasn't worked either... this is not so good. ich weiss ist nicht sehr gut... or something like that. i've been kept so busy between friends and drinking and such, i haven't had much time to focus on the 'ol bloggy thing. but i would like to note that while i haven't been exactly writing a lot about the fun i've been having, i've certainly been having it... and a whole lot more... normally i could just try to come up with something or another to write about, but i also have been only using a very small portion of my brain this week. i'll see if i can't scratch up some sort of incoherence later tonight, for the drinking has already begun.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 4:23 PM

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

First off, this is a beautiful new format and all, but this time stamp thing is a load of crap... it was not 11pm when I posted that last thing, unless I'm a hell of a lot older than I feel. San Francisco still rules... always will... the hills are punishing the hell out of me though. I woke up this morning with a very sore ass and I just wish I could remember whether that is a good or a bad sign... I get confused sometimes. Not that it would matter any, but I just like to know what I'm getting myself into, or what's getting into me for that matter. I'm picky like that. But I do think I can safely say it was a girlie I was chatting with all night... What did we do? Hey, thanks for asking. We started at the W with a couple of drinks and then we went to Bacar for dinner and a couple bottles of wine... I highly recommend the place if you have oodles of kibbles to burn or an expense account. Great live jazz, good food, good wine, good service... anyhow, back to the W and back to our hotel for a nightcap... nothing too exciting. I think last night was a rest up kinda night 'cause this is gonna be a long week... I hope. OK, more later... room service has arrived.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 8:03 AM

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Goth girls rule. I don't know what it is about the west coast, and obviously it isn't universal, but let me just say it again, goth girls rule. As promised, it's late... at least by my watch... and I'm drunk. I think the last 4 Irish coffees might have done the trick... then again, maybe it was the beer... or the wine... or that horrible, evil Sambuca... ugh... all delivered by Ryan/Evan the bartender. Not to be confused with the bartender who was from a town 30 minutes from where I grew up... far too close to home for my liking. Ah hell, who knows. It's all a damned fuzzy mess. Some girl is currently in my bed passed out and I'm pretty sure I hear the faint sounds of snoring... story of my life. I guess it could be worse. I could be at my computer and there could be an empty bed behind me... that would probably bring things down a notch. Jeezus, who the hell am I kidding, it's all the fucking same in the end. Empty bed, dead bed, passed out in bed... it all ends up with me, a computer, 3 minutes of glorious potential and another 20 minutes of sad reality... then I'm asleep... again... finally. There is classical music playing on the stereo... scary thing is that I didn't put it there. When I left my room, the curtains were open in the window over looking the bay... when I came back, they were closed and the radio was playing Tchaikovski's 1812 Overture... jeezus, is that spelled right?... now, normally, I would think this music/curtain thing is a bad sign, but for some reason it seemed so very normal and was easily dismissed... maybe it's a virus from all the hats I tried on tonight, maybe it's the glasses... maybe it's the chafing... who knows. All that matters is I have about 6 more hours of darkness...... did I mention there is a girl passed out in my bed? Or that I'm here, not there? What else? Hmmm... well, I got a message from Dad. He's not coming. 6 more weeks of winter.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 10:54 PM

Friday, May 14, 2004

OK kiddos... the princess is pestering me to post something a little more grandiose, so here's the rub: I'm busy. I have things that I do during the course of the day, which are so very boring that I intend to never speak of them here, but which absorb a good deal of my time. Sure I have things to say, and certainly everyone wants to hear them, but we're all just going to have to be a little patient... so let's be team players, shall we? In return, I promise that I will babble away next week during the wee hours of the morning as I spend a fabulously drunken week in San Francisco. That's right WC ladies, I'm gonna be in San Fran. For a brief 5 days, I am available for parties and other social gatherings... 2 drink minimum... that's all I require. So if, like me, you feel it's not a party without a creepy, angry-looking guy sitting in the corner leering at you, or you know of some relatively interesting goings-on that are worth dragging my ass off a barstool, I'm all ears. Otherwise, just sit back, relax, listen to the... ummm, well, iPod... I guess.

BTW - Anyone know a good tattoo shop near Nob Hill?
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 6:17 AM

Thursday, May 06, 2004

damned vermicious k'nids... can't trust 'em.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 4:37 PM

bageljuice, bageljuice.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 4:35 PM

monkey, monkey, monkey.
posted by tinfoilhatmonkey on 4:31 PM